Not sure hearing how i am comfortable (fairly) with my own emotions, thoughts etc is going to really help you. Well done for being honest and posting. I do know that i have spent a lot of time on internal self work often finding that it was a better option than therapists etc and rewarding when you have personal breakthroughs or epiphanies.

I have benefited greatly from meditation and recently come to be quite passionate about the Dance of Siva (re: Andrey Lappa). The real reason i have found this of benefit is its excellent results in helping to break / change habits and patterns. It is also the perfect prelude to meditation.

May of been of some use, i hope so and wish you luck,